I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Is Oprah even human
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
