Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Randomize
