Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
handjob tips. give me some.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
