that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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