I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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