tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
