dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
operation harelip BJ is a go
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
