when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
