Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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