booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
