i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
