morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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