smell my finger.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
third nipple confirmed
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
