do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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