i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
