god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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