this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
