Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
