is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
