I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
