so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
