i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
