are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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