I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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