He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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