too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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