I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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