I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
