The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
