I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
