Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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