Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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