she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
