Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
