omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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