Quick, to the slutcave!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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