dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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