Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
