I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
