I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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