Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
