No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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