My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
