Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
