Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
