Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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