I bet he comes in French.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
