Me too!
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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