we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He? As in you personified your dick?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
