Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
