My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
