Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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