just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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