he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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