I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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