And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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